Why saying no to $40k was the best decision of my career 🫣

PART 2: A special note from Chantaie (take your time with this one because there's something for you at the end):

Have you ever felt ashamed?

That deep sick feeling in your gut that is a weird mix of self loathing and embarrassment, but is also an all-encompassing feeling all its own? I know. It’s uncomfortable, but stay with me.

Shame is one of the messiest emotions we deal with in the Re-Work community. It comes up when we burnout AND when we first try to heal our burnout through rest.

Brene Brown is a shame researcher who defines shame as, “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging—something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” That feeling of being unworthy–not enough–is the biggest barrier we have found to re-imagining work and stepping into the possibility of your life. It almost got me.

When I talk about my time working in tech, I speak in terms of survival. I made it through a terrible boss, who had a terrible boss, who had a boss that was fired. I went through multiple team re-organisations and had to battle to get great marketing strategy to execution. I was even almost fired (story for another time). It was awful.

I left about $40k worth of stock on the table when I quit that job. My (wonderful) boss at that point reminded me about it when I gave my notice. I didn't let that stop me. And choosing to leave behind the free lunches, snacks, and golden handcuffs of tech was without exaggeration the best decision I’ve ever made in my career.

When I first burned out after leaving that job, I was so ashamed. I felt as if I had failed somehow. As if I couldn’t cut it in the world of marketing and tech. Despite over 15 years of being among the best at what I did. I didn’t blame the systems, the awful work environment I had escaped, or the terrible boss. I blamed myself and felt as if I had failed. Then when I learned I needed to start the process of healing by resting, I felt even worse. Lazy. Not good enough. The self loathing was on high.

I was lucky. I had people who helped me move through that feeling and to see the broken systems that had imposed that feeling of shame on me. Coming out of the other side of my shame spiral, I realized I didn’t want to waste the rest of my years on earth. Which meant I had to figure out what I wanted my life to look like and what I needed to do to build that life. This realization was probably about six months post burnout and led me to develop the set of questions that would eventually become the Re-Work New Ways of Being Clarity Questions (that link is a treat for you).

My community, new understanding, and new approaches to work helped me heal and eventually build a consulting practice and then Re-Work in a way that would ensure I’d never feel that way again. The burnout, but also the misplaced shame. I reset my entire thinking around work, let go of thinking my self worth was tied to my productivity. I let go of perfectionism. And I stepped into a life I never would have imagined.

Since quitting I’ve built my own sustainable marketing consulting practice. I get to do marketing my way with passionate clients and entrepreneurs and nonprofits who are making a difference in their corners of the world. I get to ask challenging questions and then figure out how to answer them. I've tapped into a freedom I’d been seeking since I first started working as a sales associate at Bluenotes (RIP) when I was 13 (turning 14).

Since then, I have understood myself and my place in the world in deeper ways. And I’ve done some of the best work of my career. More creative strategies, deeper research and insights, and workshops that have shifted teams and business for the better. I’ve also travelled, taught, written, fallen in and out of love, and had a kids book published.

I’ve lived. Because I was brave (or foolish) enough to ask myself, what if something different were true, and explore the answer in my career and life.

And no, this note isn’t to get you to quit your job. It’s to encourage you ask yourself a simple question–we call it a Re-Work power question: What if something different were true? Bigger question: What would I do if I weren’t afraid?

We’re getting too long again. I’m going to share one more note with you next week about what we think is possible for you in 2026 and beyond, whether you run your own business, work for someone else, or are even seeking something new and different in your career. And life.

Until then, just consider what you would do in your career if you weren’t afraid AND if you had the support and clarity to make shifts that were right for you? Because you never have to do it alone.

I'll see you here next week. Promise it'll be the last note and it won't be as long.

Wishing you play and creativity,

Chantaie, Re-Work Co-Founder

WE'RE DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY IN 2026. WE HOPE YOU'LL JOIN US.